DREAM

I had a dream last night. A dream full of many unanswered questions. I awoke to the beating of a drum in my family room. The pulsating drum beat began to make my hips gyrate to and fro. I changed form and became a snake. I'm not sure what type of snake I had become. Maybe a cobra maybe a python maybe a trouser I am not really sure. As I slithered to the family room I noticed an Indian standing in the middle of the room void of my furniture which was once there. I think the Indian was Pawnee he sure as hell wasn't Blackfoot. I spoke to the neatly shorn red man and inquired about my furniture. the Indian said nothing only stared at the drum as if he was mentally making love to it. I was hungry and had not the time nor the patience to plead for the drum beating savage to reply. I slithered to the pantry and tried to open the door but realized I had no hands because I had no arms. luckily the door jolted open after a couple of minutes and out walked a little troll in a diaper named meat. the diaper was not named meat the troll was named meat. I know his name was meat because the little bastard was eating my chicken in a biscuits. I tried to stop meat from eating my favorite crackers but he only cackled and blew snot at me. The Indian apparently found this to be humorous because he belted out a deep belly laugh from his inner girth that seemed to shake the very rafters of my house. As I tried to retreat to my bedroom meat scurried over to the Indian and said in an almost giddy tone "the time is right". The Indian obviously agreed and pointed to my front door. I stared at the door not knowing what to expect next. But nothing happened, the door just kept closed and again the two hideous creatures cackled. Meats breath smelled like a well used cat litter box and I told meat this. To my amazement meat pulled out a flask of Listerine and proceeded to drink the entire bottle. I must admit meats breath was minty and it reminded me of a winter wonderland with dancing elves and candy cane lined streets. I realized at this point that I was dreaming and began to try waking up. I figured that if I tried provoking the Indian he would get mad and stomp me into reality. I slithered up to the Indian and bit through his moccasin. The Indian let out a beastly howl then began to stomp me into the carpet of my family room. I thought I would wake up to the pleasant confines of my nice warm bed but instead was made into a pair of snake skin boots and sold by meat to an Australian business man. It turns out I had already woken up. It's strange but makes sense, reality was the dream.


RRJ